Hold on, I'm thinking!
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: Mary has some serious thinking to do on her vacation. A companion piece to "Nightmares and dreams come true". Mary's POV


***So, my Mary muse won! Maybe she'll shut up now and focus on 'whatever it takes'. She always has to have the last word. I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as 'Nightmares'. This one is from Mary's POV.

* * *

**

"_You've done the cowboy – and when you weren't doing the cowboy you __**were **__the cowboy, like with Raph. You don't need to let off steam; what you need is-" Marshall paused and looked into my eyes. "I get that you don't like messy. But maybe messy is what you need. Maybe instead of just anyone . . . you should be looking for someone. Someone who challenges you, calls you on your BS, and gets in your face, and makes you think." He paused again. "What?"_

"_What?" I scoffed at him. "I'm thinking."_

_And then I ran.

* * *

_

_**Vacation, Day 2**_

"Come on, Squish. I really don't feel like going out today. I'm not even dressed."

"Please, Mary? Peter got called out of town on business and I have the whole house to myself. It's lonely over here."

"Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before you moved out." I took a sip of my coffee and glanced around my empty kitchen, reveling in the silence.

"But mom is coming over after her morning beginner's class gets over at 11:30. She's taking me to lunch at that new Mexican deli by the pet shop where you got your betta. Come with us, it'll be my treat! I hear they make amazing quesadillas and homemade salsa," Brandi was begging now.

I sighed. "Mom thinks I'm out of town already, Squish. I'd really hate to disillusion her."

"I'll buy you sangria."

"I'll meet you there."

* * *

_**Vacation, Day 5**_

"This is Mary."

"Hi, kitten."

"God, Faber, will you stop calling me that? In fact, will you stop calling me period?"

"Whoa, retract those claws, kitten! I thought being on vacation would put you in a happy, relaxed state of mind."

"I was in a happy, relaxed state of mind before you called. Why did you call?"

"Well, I heard through the grapevine that you were on vacation. Want some company?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"Oh. Well. So what have you been doing on your vacation?"

"Thinking. Look, I don't want to talk to you on the phone either, so-"

"Wait, thinking? About what? Me?"

I snorted. "In your dreams; no, 'my mind has been much more agreeably engaged'."

"Excuse me?"

"It's a quote, Faber, from 'Pride and Prejudice'. "

"That doesn't sound like something you'd read, kitten."

I growled. "Stop calling me that! And what do you know about my reading preferences? This book came highly recommended and I'm vacation. Everyone should do something they've never done before on vacation."

"Is that an invitation, Mary?"

I gagged. "Faber, I'm hanging up now and if you're smart, you'll lose my number. You and I – it would never work. It would be too easy and I like a challenge."

* * *

_**Vacation Day 7**_

"_How do you wanna do this, neat or messy?"_

I smiled as Marshall's words from last year echoed in my ears. Sure, he had said them when he was about to kick down a door – but they still fit well with my train of thought over the past week of my vacation. I couldn't believe how much time I had spent replaying his words and seeing the look on his face as I ran away.

_Hold on, Marshall, I'm thinking._

I'm thinking about how rough this past year has been on me and how I have taken it all out on you. I've always had multiple ways of blowing off steam, the hot sex just being one. Since Raph and I had broken off our engagement I had lost that outlet. Instead of telling Marshall up front how I felt about another failed relationship, I smothered the emotions until they escaped around the edges and I bitched at him for no apparent reason. His looks of exasperation and hurt spoke volumes and one day I knew he was just going to get fed up with me and leave too.

_Hold on, Marshall, I'm thinking._

I'm thinking about Marshall's words that I don't like things that are messy. Those words are kind of ironic considering the fact that my home life has always been messy. Dad left, mom drank, and Brandi was always in trouble. When I escaped to Albuquerque and WitSec, I felt like I was getting a new identity and a second chance to create a new life. But the old one followed me like a bad penny. First mom, still drunk of course, and then Brandi came for a visit and never left. I had a one night stand with a witness. I got kidnapped and nearly raped by Brandi's boyfriend's psycho friends. I got shot in the stomach and nearly died. Yeah, my life was certainly messy. In fact things were possibly just turning around with the moving out of both Jinx and Brandi. Could Marshall have been talking about being with him – was that the next messy thing? I sighed. _You know that's what he was saying._

_Hold on, Marshall, I'm thinking._

I'm thinking about cowboys. Marshall's right – I've done my share of cowboys and with Raph, I definitely _was_ the cowboy. And then my mind drifted to my partner. He was one long, tall, cool drink of water. Legs that went on for miles, with a star on one hip and a gun on the other, cowboy boots on his feet, and a goofy grin on his face. I snorted. I was the cowboy in that relationship too – but why did my face flush and my pulse race with the image that suddenly filled my head? The one of me riding –

_Hold on, Marshall, I'm thinking._

I'm thinking about the fact that I've always had a guy in my life – Mark, Epps, Raph. But did any of them challenge me? Know me? Call me on my BS and love me for me? I slowly shook my head. Mark had been my one way ticket out of the house at seventeen, nothing more. He hadn't known me at all. Epps and I, while good with the BS and sex, were a flash in the pan. Raph – I sighed again. He was a good, decent man who loved me and wanted to marry me. But had he known the real me? No. Had I been in love with him? No.

_Hold on, Marshall, I'm thinking._

There had only ever been one man who had challenged me. Who knew me, called me on my BS, and loved me for me. And yes, damn it! Things were going to get messy but I knew how to deal with messy, didn't I? After all, he was _my_ cowboy and _my_ someone and I loved him too.

I reached for my cell phone and pushed '3' on speed dial.

"This is Stan."

"Hi, Stan. It's Mary."

"You're supposed to be on vacation, inspector."

"I am, I just have a quick question for you. How much banked vacation time does Marshall have?"

* * *

_**Vacation Day 14**_

I lifted the lid covering the food and smiled. "Thank you, Enrique."

"It's Juan, senorita. And you could show your appreciation in other ways. . . ."

I raised my eyebrows and looked the prepubescent youth up and down. "Come back when you finish college, Juan."

He cleared his throat nervously and held out his hand. "One of the _items _was hard to get, senorita."

I chuckled and reached for a wallet and placed some bills in Juan's palm. Beaming the youth wished me a good afternoon and left.

Hearing the shower turn off, I went over and banged on the bathroom door.

"Doofus, hurry up! The food's here and if you want any you better get your skinny ass out here."

Marshall laughed, the sound echoing on the other side of the closed door. "Relax, Mer. I was getting sand out of – places."

I giggled. "God, you're such a girl. You take longer showers than I do." I turned back to the serving cart and popped a berry in my mouth as I heard the door open behind me.

I turned to see my partner with only a towel slung around his lean hips, frozen like a deer in headlights.

"Marshall? What's wrong?" I moved to his side and placed my hands on his damp chest.

He finally blinked at me and smiled, placing his arms around my waist, drawing me close. "For just a moment, I thought I was dreaming again."

"Why?"

"Remember when I told you about my nightmare?"

I frowned and then gasped. "The one with me and Faber – oh!" My hands flew to my wet hair and then I looked down at my dress. "But this dress is green."

"When I came out of the bathroom just now, you were backlit by the sun so I couldn't really see the color, just that you were wearing a dress and –"

I cut off his flow of words with my lips, standing on tiptoe as our tongues met.

"I love you," I whispered against his lips.

"I love you more," he smirked before he captured my mouth in a kiss that curled my toes.

When I could breathe again, I said, "It's not a dream, cowboy. You're the one here with me in Cancun. We just made love out on the beach, remember?"

"How could I forget? I think I still have sand in my – " I laughed as he tried to scratch an area still covered by the towel.

"So, what's for lunch?"

I grinned devilishly and led him to the serving cart, watching as he took in the food.

"Chocolate-covered strawberries and whipped cream?"

I shrugged as I dipped a finger in the whipped cream and held it up to his lips. He licked it off my finger, never taking his eyes from mine.

"I was in the mood for something messy."

He laughed and slipped on a pair of green boxers. "Again?"

I pouted. "Hey, it's been an hour since our beach experience." I reached out and pulled him to me by his elastic waistband. "So what do you say? You ready to get messy with me?" I dipped a berry in whipped cream and held it out to him, waiting.

"Hold on, Mer, I'm thinking."

* * *

***So, cast your vote: which one did you like better? Or, do they go together like peanut butter and chocolate. Pie and ice cream. Mary and Marshall. Duh.**


End file.
